I do not like to discuss anything too private on my blog. However, I have been getting a lot of questions from people wanting to know why after close to 3 years I would give up running one of the most successful guilds on artfire, Polymer Clay Smooshers.
When I am responsible for something I feel the need to give it everything I have. I posted to their blog and kept up promotions on various websites every single day.
The past year there has been a lot going on in my personal life.
I had to have 2 surgeries including one to reattach the tendons in my shoulder.
My mother in law had to have brain surgery.
Several months later she had a stroke and almost died.
My sister passed away unexpectedly.
My mother received a really bad diagnosis and is possibly about to have to go through surgery.
While going through everything life could toss at me I kept up my responsibilities to the Smooshers. I barely slowed down. It felt good to have something else to focus my attention on.
Then a few weeks ago something bad happened and I don't know why, I forgot my sister died. I picked up the phone to call her. Once I realized what I was doing it was like the bottom fell out of the world and I fell into a deep dark hole.
I did ask for help with the Smooshers but when after a couple of weeks it did not happen I knew it was time to let it go. I could not keep up the responsibility as I had been. For the good of the members it was better that I resign instead of letting it slowly disappear into oblivion. They deserve better than to let that happen.
For my own sanity I am trying to make something every day even if I just smoosh the clay back up. It is my way of digging myself up out of this dark pit I have fallen into.
Sorry about the long post. If you have made it this far down (((hugs))) to you.